My Journey: Part Two

Things were better in Idaho for us as a family. We truly did actually become a family, at least I think we did, while we were there. I would like to believe that the few counseling sessions we went to were helpful, but really Casey was only able to attend one before he started working in Idaho and couldn't get the time off. Between the business, a new baby, and starting a new job, life was still hectic, but tolerable.
Crazy at it may sound, after being in Idaho for just over a year, Casey decided he didn't like it and we put our house up for sale around Thanksgiving. Within a month, we were under contract and more stress set in. Packing, and more packing, and more packing pretty much by myself since Casey still worked full time. Not only that, but I started back at Primary's since I could regain everything I had left if I went back so quickly. Between now 2 little ones, commuting again, and packing, I was back into my habit of eating and eating and eating...or so I thought it was just related to stress!

Somehow things just happened to work out. We had planned for Casey to have a week off of work in January. Well, it just so happened that is the week we needed to move out. In the middle of a HUGE snow storm, we had our moving caravan traveling back home to Utah. Unpacking in the middle of the storm back into mom and dad's was even better. I don't think we have had people move so fast in their lives. We had it all unpacked within a few hours-and believe me it was a ton of crap.

Over the next 6 weeks, things were stressful as Casey still had to commute to Idaho for the business as we hadn't sold it, the place we were renting wasn't ready so our family was crammed in with my parents, and we found out that we were miraculously expecting our 3rd child. This is when I went into another big depressed and continued my bad habit of shoveling food in my face (when I felt good enough to do it) as well as crying for 2 weeks straight (although not around Casey since I hadn't told him yet).

The business finally sold..sigh of relief. The house we were renting finally became available..phew now we have breathing room. I finally told Casey about the baby..he handled it better than me. Some relief, but I couldn't get past reality. 3 children...3...how am I going to work full time with 3 very small children?...Zoey will only be 14 months when this baby is born...what am I going to do?!! Needless to say, the bad habit continued. By now, I was a balloon-this is before the pregnancy. I was way beyond where I told myself I would EVER let me get to. It is amazing how fast it sneaks up on you...or you just ignore it!

Casey luckily got a job and then changed to another one...sigh of relief. We started more stressful things with preparing the property and eventually the construction of our house-oh the joys of building. And we welcomed Zander to the family. Although I wouldn't trade any of my children for anything, those first few months were very difficult. I didn't have time for anything. Most days I didn't even get dressed. I wouldn't have said I had postpartum depression, it was just general life depression. I am lucky that I do have a husband that helps with the kids. If he didn't, I truly don't know if I would have any marbles left, where I still do have a few.

We finally finished the house last Spring...another sigh of relief. The move was stressful, but it was the last move I ever planned to do for the rest of my life. We were finally able to clear out my parents basement and have access to all of our stuff which we hadn't in over a year. Life was busy with the 3 kids, trying to get the house together, and work between Casey and myself, but it was somehow tolerable.

As my 30th birthday creeped closer, I became more and more disgusted with myself. How could I have let myself get this far? Clothes weren't fitting at all. Even the ever forgiving scrubs were no longer forgiving and getting tight. I didn't have money for new ones, nor did I want new and bigger ones. I wanted to be thinner, I just wish you could snap your fingers and it would occur.

My Journey: Part One

Last year being my 30th birthday, I started a BADLY needed journey. Although I don't want to remember exactly where I was at at the time, I feel that I have already come so far that it deserved remembering so hopefully I never get there again.

Some of you will know from back in my school days that I was not a "small" child according to girl standards. I'm not just talking about height either. High school came with 160 lb and size 12 jeans, which is big for that age-no matter what height you are. I wish I could say that size came with just being lazy, but no, that was with 3 sports a year. Running pancake ladders for volleyball, regular ladders and laps for basketball and some exercise for softball.

After high school came college and the typical freshman 20. There was the occasional trip to the gym as well as walking around campus. Okay, not terrible, but not great either.
Then, I met Casey! Not to say that he is to blame, because it is totally my fault. I just became content with doing nothing. Our time together was watching movies. Don't get me wrong, I love movies. If only they were the whole problem. Other issues arose, which I won't get into. Let's just say that my depression hit and shows in the form of food. I eat....and I eat....and I eat! Packing on approx 30+ more lbs and thus my problem. I am pretty good at hiding emotions from outside people, I just hide behind food.

Then you think you have fixed things and you start to try for a child! My doctor tells me I have PCOS. What is that you say? Polycystic Ovary Syndrome-which in a nutshell messes with your hormones and causes an increase in androgens which leads to: female irregularity, infertility due to no ovulation, excessive hair growth (darn, I can't blame that on my just my dad), acne, easy weight gain or obesity and several other things. He placed me on clomid and 9 months or so down the road, we found out a baby would be joining the family.

Life is good. Maizy arrives and I found the joys of a child. I start exercising a little by taking walks with Maizy. 9 months after that we have a crisis hit with Casey's health which in turns puts a lot of stress on me. What do I do? I eat...and I eat...and I eat! The health crisis starts to get better, but other things do not. They return to the same place, or worse, than before Maizy. You learn to deal with them for a while until you just can't any more. The bitterness, the hurt, the pain all sets in...and I eat...and eat...and eat!

As things get settled into a different part of my life, I start taking walks again with Maizy, but life remains stressful. Things start to improve and we make a startling life change and move to Idaho to hopefully get a fresh start. Some stress set in as I know this move means ending the job I love but hopefully means less stress in other areas of our lives . More stress comes as I find we are surprisingly expecting a second child and have to commute to Utah for my job in order to have benefits.

Although my habits of food did not change after this point, life did become a lot better. I think a move away really helped us. Although we love our families, sometimes they hinder situations whether they mean to or not. Being just the two of us made us talk and become closer as we had to rely on just us. Other things did not turn out as I would have liked, but some things you just have to learn to let go.

Lots of things happened over the next 9 months which included my grandma passing away, Zoey joining the family, quitting Primary's, getting a new job in Idaho, and starting our own business buying the route Casey had been driving. Talk about stressful! I never knew the details of running your own business, and if it came down to it again, I don't know that I would take that on. The only other thing that became stressful was the fact that it seemed we were driving to Utah for family things an awful lot. Not that it is bad to be with family, but it seemed like it was every other weekend and that becomes taxing on you.

Stay tuned!

Zoo in winter time

Last week our family went to the zoo with a few friends. We have never taken the kids there in the winter time. It just so happened to be great weather and we got to see the tigers, cheetahs, etc that are normally out of site during the summer months.
The picture below is so cute. Kamille's little boy Haiden and our Maizy started holding hands right off the bat. I think they enjoyed spending some time together.

At one point in time, the 4 kids below were holding hands, but I missed it before Zoey decided to run ahead. This is our Maizy and Zoey with Kamille's Haiden and Lily.

Once again the same 4 kids with Cindy's Max turned backward in the far right corner. They really did have a ton of fun.

Poor Zander-his mean mom and dad made him stay in the stroller for the most part. When he gets excited and takes off running with all his winter gear on, he ends up face planting-so this is easier even if he isn't quite as happy.

This is one of many shots to get all the kids pictured on the tigers. We almost made it, but it was a no go! The only kid that hasn't been mentioned thus far is Sarah's little boy Luke on the far right in red. So glad Sarah could join us today.

The kids always love the zoo, but I believe their most favorite area is of course the playground. Here are our girls enjoying the large teeter totter.

We really could not have asked for a better day. The weather held off and it really wasn't too cold although we brought enough winter clothes for an army just in case.

9th Anniversary

I so thought I took more pictures, but I guess these will do. Casey and I ran away to Vegas, kidless, for 4 days to celebrate our 9th Anniversary. We have NEVER done anything this big for our Anniversary. It was a great little escape for us.
The is our car ride down.

Outside the Bellagio watching the fountain show. I think we watched a show around 3 times while we were there, and they never get old. It is so relaxing to just listen to the music and watch the amazing things they can do with water.

Our first night, we stayed at NewYork NewYork and I didn't get any pictures. The next 2 nights were our "free" nights at a time share called the BlueGreen Club. It is about a block behind the MGM just across the street from the airport and it was absolutely fabulous. We did have to sell our souls by going to their 2 hour presentation. I love the idea of timeshares, but just don't have the money now, but hopefully in the future.

We stayed in their larger room that had the bedroom separated from the living room and kitchen. In the bedroom was a sink and huge separate shower. The bathroom was huge as well with a tub/shower combo as well. The couch could pull out into a bed. It was great! The place had a nice indoor pool (which is great for Vegas since all the casinos pools are outside and closed in the winter time so I got to swim...YAY!)

We saw the Lions at MGM. They were lounging on the see through case above a walkway. They were 3 feet above my head-it was pretty cool, but the enclosure was filthy and difficult to see through so the pictures aren't that great.

This is us standing outside the Lion cage.

We did a lot of sightseeing, and eating, and just enjoying time not watching out for children 24/7. We saw a comedian-Frank Calliendo. It was a pretty good show.

We also went to lunch with my long lost roommate of 12 years, Jill. I am an idiot and didn't even get a picture of us so hopefully I will see her again soon.
It was a great get away and we had a lot of fun. Hopefully we will be able to do something again next year. Spending time with just each other is rare for us, but definitely needed.

How tall will my daughters be???

So, I have been curious for quite some time now on how tall my daughters will be when they get older. I know there is no way to tell for sure until they get there, but it is fun to imagine. There is the old tale that they will be "double the height at age 2". Okay, we will start from here. I am lucky that my mom was on top of things and kept all my measurements in my baby book. I just pulled it out for the 1st time tonight for comparison.

Age 2

Me: 36" doubled would be 6 feet (right on the money for the theory)
Maizy: 37 1/4" doubled is 6 feet 2 1/2 inches (wow)
Zoey: 35.2" doubled is pretty much 5 foot 10 1/2" (not as tall as mom-at least there will be one that still will have to look up to me)

Casey and I have known for a while that Zoey wasn't going to be as tall as Maizy. I compared their measurements long ago and knew that Zoey was about 2" shorter every time. Maybe she will surprise us, but it is not likely. Sorry babe!

Unforunately this is the only measurement to compare with Zoey for now!

Age 3

Me: 39"
Maizy: 40.28"

Age 4

Me: 42 1/2"
Maizy: 43 3/4"

Age 5

Me: 44"
Maizy: 45.83"

According to the numbers, I believe it is safe to say that Maizy will be taller than me. I don't know whether to be happy or sad about this as I already know the trouble of finding pants and shirts that are long enough for me, let alone someone who might be taller. I guess we will cross that bridge when we get there. Hopefully she will be interested in sports-North Summit could really use it!

Maizy's Birthday Party

I finally have Maizy's 5 year old stats:
44.09 lbs = 76%
45.83 in = 96%
Results are in...she is still REALLY tall for her age. Big shocker!!!

This is the 2nd year we have rented out the pool in Coalville to celebrate Maizy's birthday. I am pretty sure this is going to be an annual event since Maizy absolutely loves it. I love swimming as well, but 2 hours in a pool trying to keep track of my small children is quite the tiring task. I think everyone was exhausted once we were done.

Maizy is turning into such a good swimmer. As long as she has a life jacket on, she is good to go. She even goes down the big slide by herself and jumps off the diving board too.

Zander was not happy to be in the water. It took him 30 minutes to finally stop whining. Hopefully he will start to love it soon.

Jami and Anna, and Mandy, Haiden and Evie came to help Maizy celebrate. Some of my friends were unable to make it. I have to admit I have a wonderful group of friends who are like sisters to me. They support our family more than some close family members. Thanks guys!

My cousin Jessica, Ron and Zachary missed the party last year, but were able to make it this year. Alyssa and Trevor also came with my Grandparents to participate in the fun.

Kari, Jake and Madi came to swim as well. They brought big brother Brayden-he sat on the side of the pool since he broke his arm and had a cast on. Ben and Jill also came to help Maizy celebrate.

My brother Ryan, his wife DeLys, and their 3 boys Ethn, Parker and Boston came to swim. I hope everyone that came had lots of fun. Thanks for the support. We love you all.
After the pool party, everyone came to the house for snacks and cake/ice cream. Maizy was so excited for her "Princess and the Frog" cake even though we haven't even seen the movie. She is into anything princess these days.

Everyone still had wet hair from swimming.

Maizy showing us how old she is now.

Maizy turns 5 today!

Today our oldest child, Maizy Kay, turns the big 5 years old. Born January 4, 2005 at McKayDee Hospital by c-section due to being a stubborn breech baby (should have known from day one). She entered the world at 7:35 am weighing in at 8 lb 10 oz and 20 inches long.

She has been so fun to watch grow. She is a great big sister, a big helper (or so she likes to think), and a smart little stinker to boot.

She had the most hair of all my kids. I was able to do a pigtail, as you see below at 1 month.

Due to her stubborness of being breech, she ended up having congenital hip dysplasia and had to spend 2 months in a pavlik harness to correct her hips.


Maizy has always been a pretty happy baby. I love her smiles!

Look at the cute piggies. Maizy has held still from day one to get her hair done!

Playing in the water-she loves it.

Being silly as usual.

Seeing baby sister Zoey for the 1st time in the hospital.

Having a fix it hair day with mom.

Talking on the phone just like mom.

She is a goofball too.

This was last year when she was 3 going to her first day of preschool. She is now in her 2nd year and so excited to go to Kindergarten next year.

As I said, she is a great big sister. This is the first time she held Zander in the hospital.

She has finally decided she likes Princesses just this year. Last year she was invited to a Princess birthday party. We had to get her Halloween costume out early since she had never played dressup-I believe I have somewhat of a tomboy on my hands.

I love this grin of hers.

Look at those eyes.

This was her 4 year old party. What a surprised look on her face.

Making jewelry from one of her presents.

She is pretty strong and is loving being in tumbling this last year.

Maizy is also a poser.

Attempting curlers for the first time-frizz city!!!

So sweet.

Playing in the snow-she loves being outside.

Maizy,
You are truly a blessing in our lives. Thanks for being a wonderful daughter and sister. We look forward to many more years of you growing into the beautiful woman you are meant to be.
Love, Mom and Dad